Major Paper/Project – dis/lit 19

Kenzie Ward’s Major Paper: Why Inclusive Classrooms Matter

In our disability and literature class, we have discussed the social model and how important it is to acknowledge that disability is not just an individual problem, but is the outcome of an environment that fails to include those who are disabled. These barriers found in these environments are written about in the article “Academic Ableism: Disability and Education,” written by Jay Timothy Dolmage. He discusses the exclusion of disabled people in higher education and how it is inaccessible both physically and socially for those considered intellectually or physically weaker than the idealized able-bodied. Exclusion in education can start as early as elementary school, especially when people argue that children with disabilities cannot properly learn in what is considered the “normal classroom”, and instead be separated into Special Education classrooms away from their peers. This leads children with disabilities to have an education that does not set them up for success and gives them an unequal opportunity to access the general curriculum and higher education. I argue that children with disabilities and impairments should be integrated into an inclusive classroom because it supports all children despite their personal differences and capabilities.

The exclusion of students with disabilities and impairments can happen as early as kindergarten. If a child is diagnosed with being on the autism spectrum, a learning disability, or any type of impairment, one of the first things considered is whether or not they need to be in a Special Education classroom full time. Many people decide that it is appropriate to have a classroom just for children with disabilities. They say it is because the general classroom and its curriculum is not set up for those kids to be successful learners. This leads to teachers having no idea how to properly teach any type of diverse learner, and it leads to the overall exclusion of children with disabilities. This mindset that we need a separate classroom and program altogether, not only deprives those children from accessing the general curriculum, but it deprives all children of a diverse learning environment. This form of separation takes away the representation of disability in the classroom and prevents students from having different forms of learning and social interaction. The belief that there are special ed teachers and general education teachers, creates barriers in the classroom when a “normal” education teacher is not taught how to properly engage all learners. Teachers are not usually taught how to effectively teach students with these impairments and can oftentimes get frustrated, which leads to an unsuccessful learning environment for everyone. A lot of the time, teachers will only notice visible disability and fail to look closely at “invisible impairments” that affect how a child thinks and perceives information. This leads to discrimination in the classroom.

Even though there have been laws passed to protect students with disabilities from discrimination in the classroom, such as the federal law IDEA, many teachers still bully and neglect their students. When my sister was in third grade, she was recently confirmed with having dyslexia and ADD. She had a hard time reading, writing, and paying attention in her classroom. She was in an environment that was constantly distracting to her and it led to negatively affecting her grades. She was in a Special education part-time, while the rest of the day was spent in her 3rd-grade teacher’s classroom. Because my sister had a hard time keeping up, her teacher would often get frustrated at both her and another student with dyslexia. This teacher bullied them, yelled at them and even slapped a ruler across one student’s knuckles. My sister’s teacher didn’t understand why they could not pay attention or why they needed more time on assignments because she did not think they had these impairments but that they were lazy. Her teacher didn’t bother to help those students, and instead, she isolated them from other kids and gave them failing grades. This 3rd-grade teacher was never taught how to teach diverse learners or create a safe and effective learning environment for her students. My sister attended this school in the early 2000s, and even though classrooms are a lot better for children with disabilities, things like this still happen. There are teachers out there who disregard the need to change their own way of teaching, and instead place blame on their students. This is where the importance of the inclusive classroom comes in.

The inclusive classroom is an environment that allows all children, both disabled and non-disabled, to thrive in a setting that takes account for diverse learners. Teaching inclusively allows for an equal opportunity for all students to become successful and engaged learners. Not only does it help non-disabled students access the curriculum through multiple ways of learning, but it also gives disabled students a sense of belonging in the classroom. Examples of some of these learning methods are encompassed within the Universal Design Principles. They deal with different ways of teaching information, testing formats, and setting up reasonable goals and expectations for all students. At first, this was a method created to integrate children with disability in the classroom effectively and allow them to be successful learners. Now it is a reform for all students and supports different ways of learning, and reduces barriers in the curriculum for all children. These design principles take into account how diverse everyone is, and how we should try to accommodate students as best as we can. Without these principles and the inclusive classroom, we are left with students excluded from the curriculum and hidden away from their peers.

There are a few arguments against inclusive classrooms, while some may think they are thinking of the wellbeing of the children with disabilities, most of them are more concerned about the wellbeing of the able-bodied student. Many people argue that inclusive classrooms are not beneficial at all. They say that students with disabilities will be set up for failure if they are put in a general education class and that they need a more individualized education in order to be successful. Another argument they make is that they think non-able bodied students will disrupt the class too much and negatively impact “regular” students’ education. This is a very ableist mindset that sets the blame on the students with the disability, instead of the blame on the classroom itself. If the environment is not able to support disabled students, then it’s not supporting diverse learners in general. The diagnosis of the student is never the barrier, it is ineffective teaching and a poor learning environment that leads to unsuccessful outcomes. A way to improve the classroom learning environment is to redesign it and include more flexibility in learning. UDL creates a redesigned classroom that supports engagement, representation, and expression in teaching the general curriculum. I know that it is easy to say that we should do all these things and that the hard part comes through actually implementing them. Changes like this cannot happen overnight, especially if money is a problem accessing things such as more aides, technologies, and other resources to improve accessibility. However, it is something that definitely proves its worth and allows more equitable access to education. Through modifications and accommodations, all students are able to reach their goals and attain higher education, something that is not very accessible for students with disabilities. Historically, higher education has been a disabling environment for students with impairments because of disability discrimination throughout education as a whole.

Higher education was built in a way that kept people with disabilities from entering the building, let alone accessing education. Jay Timothy Dolmage quotes Ellen Cushman saying this, “Even as universities have become more accepting of diversity, academics tend to stay “inside,” as Ellen Cushman suggests. And the steps are not the only way in which the university is inaccessible, even if they might be the most physically arresting and apparent.”(Dolmage) What she means by this is that as a society, we often glorify those big sets of stairs that lead up right to the doors of possibility, without giving accessibility another thought. The architecture of these higher education buildings represents the exclusion of people with disabilities and how they are left out of these opportunities so many able-bodied people have. This is just another example of an environment that is disabling to those with impairments, and show how inaccessible the general curriculum can be without any effort to support inclusion. This history of stigma has lead to this ableist mindset that if you have any physical or mental impairments, then there’s a very small possibility you’ll be able to go to a university that glorifies perfect bodies and minds. Dolmage discusses this idealized ableism in his article, which explains further why this inaccessibility is heavily implemented, especially in education. He states, “Further, the ethic of higher education still encourages students and teachers alike to accentuate ability, valorize perfection, and stigmatize anything that hints at intellectual (or physical) weakness”(Dolmage).

Going off on what Dolmage wrote, this idea that higher education is limited to this able-minded students is only further implicating that this is not trying to protect the disabled students from a non-beneficial education, but that they are being ruled out from attending completely. This is because they don’t follow that able-bodied model that most universities accept. By using principles that support inclusivity, as a society, we can break away from those ableist ideas and create a more accessible education for all.

Students with disabilities should be able to access the same education that is attainable for everyone else. It is important to take into account just how much needs to be changed in order to accommodate all students and create successful learners. Environments that are non-inclusive end up negatively affecting all children, especially ones with impairments. It is time to recognize these ableist beliefs that education is not built for those who don’t fit into this idea of a “normal learner”. Trying to separate or exclude people with disabilities from the same educational opportunities as able people is not solving the problem. Depriving these students from the general curriculum creates barriers from getting into higher education successfully. There needs to be more focus on creating an inclusive environment that takes into account the needs of all diverse learners and preventing barriers in the curriculum, as well as barriers that could inhibit them from being prepared for college. By utilizing tools such as the UDL principles, all teachers and students can benefit from incorporating them into the classroom. Not only does it promote the representation of disability in the classroom, but it diversifies learning environments and interactions with other students.

Word count: 1775

I pledge -Kenzie Ward

Work cited:

T., Jay. “Literary Studies: Literary Criticism and Theory.” Fulcrum, University of Michigan Press, 1 Jan. 1970, doi.org/10.3998/mpub.9708722.

“The UDL Guidelines.” UDL, 31 Aug. 2018, udlguidelines.cast.org/.

Michelle Zillioux’s Major Project: Invisible Disability

Invisible Disability

When I first felt the stiff pain that has nested itself beneath my knee cap, I thought to myself that it was nothing if not a nuisance. I could not recall hurting my knee in the first place, and I certainly could not bring myself to think that whatever injury I had brought upon myself warranted anything more than a diagnosis and a quick cure. For a long time, the thought did not occur to me that my pain was much more than what I was thinking — that I could consider myself disabled. In creating this short comic detailing my self-reflections over the legitimacy of the pain in my knee, as well as the term “disability,” I sought to answer for myself whether or not I consider myself disabled, and contemplate the social stigma surrounding disability itself. As I cultivated my project, I discovered that my struggle with the term “disability” stems from a problem in which disability has been conflated with social beliefs concerning sex appeal.

While planning my project, I started out with the idea that I would detail my experience with physical therapy. It made sense to me to do so. In a way, my dealings with physical therapy marked the only solid proof (to me) that I could be considered disabled, besides my recent diagnosis of chondromalacia in my left patella. Then, as I sketched and wrote, it occured to me that I had trouble with the label of disability. I could not determine what proved that I was allowed to call myself disabled. Physical therapy did not feel like enough proof the longer I worked on my preliminary sketches. I became nervous. I thought people would read my comic and think I was appropriating a label that I did not deserve to claim, so I disposed of my early sketches and sought to figure out just why I had trouble with considering myself as disabled despite having struggled with several difficulties over the past year since the pain had started.

I found the answer in Anna Mollow’s and Robert McRuer’s “Introduction” from Sex and Disability. The excerpt detailing Mollow’s encounter with a woman who chastised her for claiming disability because Mollow did not “look” disabled struck me. Mollow’s struggle with consolidating the unique experience of “looking too good to be disabled” and nevertheless still having to suffer the consequences of chronic pain felt familiar (Mollow 19). I, too, have experienced moments during my time with chondromalacia where my pain has not been taken seriously due to the fact that I look physically healthy. People have assumed that I am faking my pain, or that it is not so bad that I should refrain from the activities that aggravate the cartilage my knee cap has worn away at. What they see is the same image I see when I look in the mirror: a young woman with normal-looking knees. The only thing that sticks out is the bright pink tape hugging my kneecap — but anyone could wear that, if they wanted.

As I went to record all of this in my plan for my project, it became evident to me that the experiences of doubt and misunderstanding surrounding my disability, as well as Mollow’s, speaks of an underlying problem within society. Mollow and McRuer state that there is an “assertion of able-bodiedness as the foundation of sexiness” (1). Such a statement encapsulates a very prominent view of disability within society that Mollow and McRuer are quick to point out. Disability is not often perceived as sexy or attractive (unless it is fetishized), and, therefore, the prototypical image of a person with a disability is that of a person who does not conform to conventional beauty standards: “Rarely are disabled people regarded as either desiring subjects or objects of desire” (Mallow 1). Even now, as I write, images of twisted knees, contorted backs and missing limbs come to mind. Certainly, the image staring back at me in the mirror is none of those. My facade appears fully functioning. It makes sense to me then that I have trouble recognizing myself as disabled when I need an x-ray to prove that there is something wrong with my knee in the first place.

After these realizations, I made it my goal to use my project as a visual guide to depict both the pain and my worries in a way that people can see. I also wanted it to become a think-piece that would call into question my preconceptions considering disability. I focused on myself, depicting my flesh as pink to contrast the sharp pain I represented in blue, and supplemented panels with written expressions of self-reflection. In the end, my self-reflection solidified the idea in my mind that I am, in fact, disabled. It does not matter that the only time my disability is visible is when my knee swells some after the cartilage becomes inflamed. I recognize now that whether or not I look disabled is irrelevant because I can still feel the pain, and that pain has kept me from several activities, thus interrupting my work and my everyday life. With this comic, I hope that I have made it clear that disability can come in different forms, and that having an invisible impairment does not invalidate one’s experience of being disabled.

Word Count: 886

I pledge upon my word of honor that I have neither given nor receive any unauthorized help on this assignment. Michelle Zillioux

Works Cited

Linton, Simi. “Reassigning Meaning.” Claiming Disability: Knowledge and Identity, NYU Press,1998, pp 8-33.

Mallow, Anna, and Robert McRuer. “Introduction.” Sex and Disability, Duke University Press, edited by Anna Mallow and Robert McRuer, 2012, pp. 1-34.

Alex Slaughter’s Major Project: Painting

For my major project, I decided to create a painting. I was inspired by many of the different books we have read throughout the semester and went through multiple ideas before deciding what I wanted to create. The book that ultimately inspired this painting was Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. There is so much imagery throughout the novel that evokes an assortment of the senses.

Through this painting, I wanted to represent how Frankenstein’s creation, as a disabled character, views the world with rose colored glasses until that view is shattered by the harsh reality of who he is and what he is. One of the main reasons I decided to create this piece was based on how the creation was never truly given an actual name, and how he creates his identity through books he taught himself to read. I wanted to portray how people with disabilities often feels as if they have lost their identity or feel as if they have completely changed as a person due to their disability. In order to do this, the painting is split down the middle to create a reflection of two different worlds: one being the perfect world the creation lives in for part of the story where he sees the good in everything, and the other being the hellish world after the creation sees his reflection and he realizes what he looks like, as well as the isolation the creation later feels.

During Frankenstein, the creation goes through many points where he is not completely sure as to why people run from him and scream at him in fear. He first experiences this reaction when he was created. Frankenstein, his creator, ran from him in fear. As the novel progresses, we get to see the world through the creation’s point of view. Eventually, it is made known that the creation is teaching himself how to read through books he found in a bag. One of the books that the creation receives a lot of knowledge from is Paradise Lost by John Milton. After reading about Adam and Satan, the creation compares himself to both individuals and ultimately identifies as both. In order to portray this comparison, I wanted to represent how, as people, we have a mix of both good and bad in each one of us. The creation had the right idea to compare himself to both Adam and Satan. I created a silhouette of a man whose proportions are slightly off, as if he was pieced together with different parts like the creation was, and I centered him on the canvas to make him the focal point of the painting. Along with silhouette of the creation, I painted an angel wing on one side to represent the part of him that identifies as Adam, and I painted a demonic wing on the other side to illustrate the part of him that identifies with Satan.

On the heavenly side that illustrated Adam’s half of the painting, the canvas is filled with bright colors that bring a lightness to the world. The other main thing I reflected was the cabin that the creation spends a lot of time near. I felt like the time the creation spent near the cabin was a defining time for him. The creation can see how happy the family is living in the cabin, which is why I painted the cabin to look bright, new, and full of life and happiness. The creation only wants a family that will love and accept him, which he never truly receives. However, he makes progress at reaching this goal as he makes contact with the older gentleman at the cabin. We come to find out that the old man is blind, which allows the creation to build a sense of community and belonging because the old man listens and does not judge him for what he looks like.

This sense of belonging is disrupted by the able-bodied man who arrives and begins yelling at the creation to get away and out of the cabin. The events that follow are portrayed on the hellish side of the painting. After staying away for a little while, the creation returns to find that the cabin is empty, dark, and decrepit. He realizes that the family is gone, as well as his only friend. He bonds with the old man, who understands him, and then it is taken and ripped away from him. On the left side of the painting, the cabin is reflected, but looks the way the creation sees it after the people have left. The cabin is in a sense dying due to the lack of life and happiness from the family.

I wanted to represent how the creation views the world throughout the novel, and I feel as if I completed my goal of doing so.

Word Count: 807

I pledge. Alexandra Slaughter

Odilia Rafael Major paper project

Major Paper/Project, Elizabeth Brewer, Coming Out Mad, Coming Out Disabled, Raymond Carver, Cathedral, Michael Davidson. Universal Design, The Work of Disability in an Age of Globalization. and Charlotte Perkins Gilman, The Yellow Wallpaper and Why I Wrote The Yellow Wallpaper:

In Elizabeth Brewer’s article,“ Coming Out Mad, Coming Out Disabled,” she speaks about her concerns on her ability to study disability. She had an interest in mental differences and distresses because she was intrigued by the thought processes of mentally ill people and wondered if their writings should be viewed differently because of their disabilities. People with disabilities view the world differently whether they are on the low or high spectrum of mental or physical impairments. Brewer states, “I wanted to know how one speaks from the position of a spoiled identity, to borrow a phrase from Erving Goffman” (11). She wants to learn from the position of the disabled bodies and I think is important to read literature from a perspective of disability because it helps the reader better understand the author’s intended message, grow personally and become more knowledgeable about disabilities, and understand, validate, and support those struggling with disabilities.

Reading literature from the perspective of disability is important because it helps the reader better understand the author’s proposed message. From the author’s perspective, not only does literature help the reader understand the author, but it makes sure that they respect their wishes as authors. If they want the reader to get something out of it, they will be able to do so more successfully because they can put themselves in their place. With that said, people’s understandings in literature would only improve if they viewed it through the lens of a person who has experience with disabilities. The following is a good example about how an author’s work influences people to become knowledgeable on how to treat or help individuals with disabilities. In Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s real life, she was diagnosed with what at the time was called “nervous disorder” for which she consulted one of the best specialists regarding nervous diseases. This specialist applied the “rest cure” to alleviate her illness. The rest cure consisted of “”living as domestic life as far as possible,” to “have but two hours’ intellectual life a day,” and “never to touch pen, brush, or pencil again” as long as she lived (Gilman, “Why). In Gilman’s article, Why I Wrote The Yellow Wallpaper, she informs the readers how this short story changed a doctor’s mind on how to treat patients with the same disability that she encountered. After she wrote the story, she sent a copy to the physician who nearly drove her mad; however, he did not acknowledge it at that time. Later, Gilman states:

“But the best result is this. Many years later I was told that the great specialist had admitted to friends of his that he had altered his treatment of neurasthenia since reading The Yellow Wallpaper” (Gilman, “Why).

Gilman’s purpose when writing The Yellow Wallpaper was to make people aware of the dangers of “rest cure” treatment. She ends this article stating that “The Yellow Wallpaper short story, was not intended to drive people crazy, but to save people from being driven crazy, and it worked” (Gilman, “Why). A disabled person will know all the struggles they deal with daily. Reading literature from someone who is disabled, or even from someone who has had personal experience with the disabled, will help the reader in different ways, such as Gilman did.

Reading works by individuals with disabilities or mental illness helps readers grow personally and become more knowledgeable about disabilities. In my personal experience, my cousin has a 15 year old daughter with special needs. I would not be able to write about her struggles due to the fact that my children do not have obvious special needs. I would not be able to talk about any close personal experiences with having a child with special needs. However, many times I asked her how can I help but only in the moment when I see her struggling to move her daughter from the wheel chair to the bed.

I think it would be very interesting to understand the world through the eyes of the mentally ill and disabled, maybe then we can understand their struggles and even accomplishments. Just as in the example of Gilman’s story, others can help the readers grow personally and also become more knowledgeable about disabilities, like Gilman’s doctor did. People have certain perceptions about individuals who are mentally ill and disabled. There are different levels of mental illnesses and disabilities. In my personal opinion, I do not think that because someone has a disability or mental illness that we should view their thoughts differently due to their “incapacities,” but rather due to the different and important perspectives they offer.

Learning new things will always broaden one’s horizons; it helps one become more open-minded and considerate of others’ circumstances. Once a reader can understand and relate to any type of author, it helps to get the author’s point across to the audience. Being knowledgeable will also help to understand what the author is trying to say in the writing. One will have a better understanding of the individual’s situation such as how to treat “nervous disorder,” also known as “depression.” In Gilman’s doctor’s case, he got a better idea of the patient’s situation by him carefully reading what his patient was feeling, and was able to better assist future clients with the same illnesses. Understanding from the author’s point of view and how they or their characters operate in the arguments or stories they are trying to tell helps the reader to view the reading from a different point of view.

One can help those with disabilities by providing support to those in need. Doing this can help break stereotypes in the literature world. As a reader, one may try and put themselves in the main character’s shoes. Reading literature from a disabled or mentally ill individual about their life experiences and struggles can sometimes help convey the point trying to be made by the author.

Unless the reader is told that what they are reading is from a person who is disabled or mentally ill, it can be difficult for the reader to tell if it is able-bodied writing, or the writing of someone disabled or mentally ill. It is always good to view things from different aspects anyway; doing this will help to keep an open mind to what others have to say or think, regardless of who they are. In other words, individuals should not judge a book by its cover. When reading something written by a mentally ill or disabled person, we should keep their disability in mind to get a better understanding of the message that they are trying to convey.

Reading works by persons with disabilities or mental illness also helps readers understand, validate, and support those struggling with disabilities. For example, in my case I offered help to my cousin the moment she needed to move her child from the wheel chair to her bed, when in reality I should be asking her how can I help her and her daughter in the long term, like make myself available when she decides she needs help. I can do research and ask questions about the life of a disabled individual in her conditions so I can be a resource, but due to my ignorance I leave her to be the one who actually deals with the struggles her daughter faces every day. Being knowledgeable about disabilities can help one not only in understanding literature, but in their everyday life. It can be quite easy to only think about what one already knows. For example, in Cathedral, according to the narrator, all he knows about blind people came from the movies. “In the movies, the blind moved slowly and never laughed. Sometimes they were led by seeing-eye dogs” (Carver). As able-bodied people, it is difficult to imagine a world in which one has certain physical limitations. Trying to pay attention to the perspectives of disabled people, the reader can expand their world view. In doing so, one grows as a person by having different perspectives on things. If readers all had a stronger understanding of what it is to be disabled, maybe they would have better healthcare services for the mentally ill or make more places handicap accessible. For example, right now a lot of places are not doing the best they can to make buildings as accessible as they need to be. Broadening one’s horizons is a good thing beyond understanding disabled people because it makes an individual a more empathetic overall. If we practice putting ourselves in other’s shoes, we prepare for real life where we never know who we are going to meet. By broadening their horizons, people can make sure that they are better able to understand other people and interact with them in the way that they want to be treated.

In conclusion, reading literature from the perspective of disability helps the reader better understand the author’s intended message so readers can grow in knowledge and become supportive of those struggling with disabilities. Readers’ understandings in literature would improve if they view it through the lens of people who have experience with disabilities. Gilman was able to prove this with her short story The Yellow Wallpaper as she explained to her readers in her article Why I Wrote The Yellow Wallpaper. She helped the reader understand what she needed and made a difference in how the doctor managed her illness for future patients. Plus, she gained the respect she deserves as an author. Reading about disabilities inform us on how to interact with people with special needs. If we think about it we all face challenges in one way or another. However, for those whose impairments are not obvious, the world does not need to be rearranged but for disabled bodies, there is lot of work to be done to make the world accessible to them. In Michael Davidson’s article Universal Design, The Work of Disability in an Age of Globalization, states that:

a person in a wheelchair becomes disabled when he or she encounters a building without elevators or when a sight-impaired person tries to use an ATM machine without Braille signage. It also recognizes that one may be equally disabled by social stigma. Phrases like “wheelchair bound,” “retarded,” or “deaf and dumb” are no less oppressive than lack of physical access since they mark how certain bodies are interpreted and read. With that, I conclude that we should not have to be disabled to understand disabled and mentally ill people’s needs and become resourceful to them, not a burden.

Word count: 1797. I pledge; I hereby declare upon my word of honor that I have neither given nor received unauthorized help on this work. – Odilia Rafael

Clark Baranoski’s creative writing: The Doll Head

The Doll Head

She started out just like all the other Sofie dolls in the world, identical with their molded plastic smiles, kind brown eyes and soft dark hair. She stood in her box on a shelf surrounded by her sister clones, waiting.

She watched dolls identical to her being bought, longing for the day someone would choose her box, and take her home to a child who would love her, perhaps hug her tight at nights and whisper secrets in her ears.

At last, Sofie was chosen, and brought home to a young girl named Darla. At night, Sofie was not held close, but she wandered around Darla’s bedroom, gazing marvelously at the sleeping child in the glow of the night light, determined to bring the young girl years of joy.

The other toys welcomed Sofie with open arms. There was a worn teddy bear with several stitched scars running across his body and only one eye, who walked with a limp. Darla loved the bear more than any other toy and slept with him every night. The porcelain dolls on Darla’s shelf expressed jealousy that Sofie would be played with. They were too fragile for play, and constantly feared falling off the shelf and shattering into a million pieces.

Darla loved playing with Sofie, but instead of building houses for her out of blocks or dressing her up and pretending Sofie was the mayor of a make-believe town, Sofie was used as a crash test dummy. Darla would tie the doll to parachutes made from blankets or empty plastic grocery bags before flinging her off the upstairs balcony. The parachutes never worked, and Sofie always plummeted to the floorboards a story below.

As the floorboards rose up to meet her yet again, Sofie found herself jealous of the porcelain dolls. Yes, they didn’t have much to do but stand on the shelf and watch the room all day, but at least they weren’t thrown over the railing time and time again.

Sofie’s disintegration came far too fast. After only one day, she lost lost her right leg. The other toys were shocked but sympathetic. The old, battered teddy bear confided how he had been torn and sewn together again several times.

Sofie couldn’t be sewn. She could have tried to reattach her leg, but it had gone missing.

Darla had a book about a one-legged tin soldier, who stood just as tall and steady as his own identical brothers. Sofie tried and tried, but she could not stand steady or hop around on her single leg.

She found a pencil to use as a prosthetic leg, and slowly learn to walk again. She limped more than the bear, but nobody mocked her or the bear for their hobbling. The bear was Darla’s oldest toy, and far too respected to be mocked.

“At least you’re played with.” said the porcelain dolls. “It’s so boring up here. At least you won’t shatter.”

Sofie’s owner saw the pencil in Sofie’s leg socket and taped it there, smiling. All the same, it snapped off on her next test dive, followed by several other limbs before one week had passed.

On her second week at Darla’s house, Sofie’s head was separated from what remained of her body entirely. Now, she was only a head, helplessly watching her torso be mangled by the family dog, her pencil leg drooled on by the baby until the parents took it away and threw it in the garbage.

There wasn’t much use for a pencil leg anymore, when she didn’t have a body.

Darla picked up Sofie’s head and sighed. Sofie wanted to sigh. It was just her luck to be bought for a girl who destroyed her.

The other toys, once sympathetic, looked at Sofie the head with revulsion, turning away when she tried to talk to them as if they feared the same fate would befall them. Only the old bear continued to be her friend.

As a head, Sofie could no longer roam around Darla’s room. She refused when the bear offered to carry her. They tried other methods of mobility. She couldn’t balance on a toy horse, and there was no way she’d humiliate herself by clinging to the reins with her teeth. She couldn’t steer a toy car, and the car didn’t listen to her spoken directions.

The other toys watched her attempts with a sort of fascinated horror, though Sofie was sure she heard giggles and snickers as well. Some friends they turned out to be.

Sofie realized if the soccer ball could roll around by itself, surely she could learn, too. She spent long hours teaching herself to roll her head like a ball, fighting dizziness as the world spun around and around.

Being only a head did make the parachutes work a bit better, seeing as Sofie weighed less. The landings weren’t quite as hard and rough now, not that she enjoyed being thrown any more than she had with her body still attached.

One day, her head was chucked around Darla’s bedroom until Sofie rolled under the bed. She waited to be retrieved, but was left under there to ponder, bitterly, why it had been her that had been destroyed. Why hadn’t one of the stuffed animals been used to test parachutes? A stuffed animal wouldn’t have fallen apart from the falls like she had.

She managed to roll across the floor, but it left her dizzy and tangled in the parachute. She could not untie herself as she once had been able to. The bear offered to help, but he had no fingers, only paws that weren’t particularly useful for untying knots.

Tangled in the plastic bag, Sofie could barely see or hear, and didn’t notice when Darla entered the room.

She was picked up and unwrapped from the bag. Darla held the bag up, where Sofie’s head dangled underneath, tied to it by her hair.

“Where were you?” asked Darla, staring at Sofie’s head. Sofie wished she could answer, but of course she couldn’t.

Darla tried to untie Sofie’s hair from the parachute, and but the knot was so tangled that, in the end, Darla took a pair of scissors and snipped it off. Sofie’s head tumbled to the floor, staring up at the dark locks that were no longer attached to her head.

Sofie lay, smile frozen on her face but terror racing inside. Would Darla throw her without a parachute? Would the dog chew her up like it had her body? Darla’s hand came closer. Sofie wanted to roll away, but she couldn’t with a human present.

She was placed in a lava lamp, floating like a fish in the water, watching from inside. The room looked warped and green. She couldn’t hear what the bear was telling her, and eventually, he stopped trying.

For years, Sofie watched the room. One porcelain doll fell off the shelf and shattered. The teddy bear lost his remaining eye, but still remained Darla’s favorite. Sofie watched him navigate around Darla’s room, still with his limp. Without his eyes, there was no way for her to communicate with him. They couldn’t talk through the lamp, and he could no longer see her.

Darla grew from a young girl to a young woman. Toys were donated, sold, or thrown out, but the old, worn teddy bear always remained on Darla’s bed. It was clear he would never leave, that Darla would never stop loving him.

Sofie wondered when her turn would be, surprised that a doll head in a lava lamp wasn’t the first toy to go.

At last, a teenaged Darla packed a box with the remaining porcelain doll, some toy cars, a dirty stuffed unicorn, and Sofie’s lamp. She was sloshed around in the lamp as the box was carried. The box rumbled like it was in a car, chattering Sofie’s teeth and making her bob in the lava liquid.

The box was opened by an older man, who took out each toy and examined them. “What’s this?” he asked, studying Sofie’s lamp. Sofie could see they were in some sort of store. The man unscrewed the top and pulled her head out.

“Let’s see if I have a spare body.” he muttered, bustling around. Sofie didn’t want some other doll’s body, didn’t want to be reconstructed from different parts like some sort of Frankenstein’s monster. That was quite different from a pencil prosthetic. But when did what she wanted ever matter? She was a doll with no say in what humans did to her, no say in if she was a test dummy, if her hair was cut, if she was imprisoned in a lamp like a genie.

To Sofie’s relief, there was no spare. A price sticker was slapped on her forehead, and she was put on a shelf with other toys to be sold, including many other Sofie dolls. Of course, she was the only disembodied head there, everyone else had a body.

Those dolls stared at her in horror, even though some of them were nude and one had crude, childish marker scribbles all over her body and face that the store owner must have been unable to wash off.

“What happened to you?” asked another Sofie doll with a jointed, posable body. Sofie realized that, even with her old body, she had never had elbows and knees that would bend, though Sofie was too annoyed by the question to think much about the mobility of her old limbs.

“Who would spend five bucks for a head?” asked another doll with a sticker proclaiming her to cost one dollar and seventy-five cents. “You can’t do anything, and you’re more than me.”

Sofie didn’t answer them as she rolled herself off the shelf. Still, the other dolls’ words got to her. Sofie tried not to think of the movies where decapitated heads were stuck on stakes as a warning to intruders. She hoped that wouldn’t be her fate, but she didn’t know what else someone would use a head for, other than a creepy decoration like Darla had.

She rolled through the store, which sold more than just toys. At last, she stopped at a clothing section, exhausted. Rolling her head was much more tiring than walking had been.

“Hey,” whispered a voice. Sofie turned away from the carpet and rolled her head, trying to find the source. “HEY!” several voices whispered louder.

At last, Sofie saw several mannequin heads. Some had necks, but other than that, they were just like her, albeit much larger.

“Hi,” she whispered back, choked up. She thought she was the only one without a body.

“What happened?” Sofie asked with morbid curiosity, before realizing how annoyed she’d been when the other dolls asked her. She shook her head slightly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Nothing happened.” said a mannequin head modeling a knit winter hat. “We never had bodies. We were always just heads.”

“Really?” asked Sofie, amazed. They didn’t seem at all bothered by their lack of bodies. Some of these heads were blank, with no features. Sofie wondered if they were blind, like the bear. If they were always blind, or if they became blind by losing eyes.

One head looked like exactly like Sofie’s own head, but still much bigger.

“You’re a Sofie too.” Sofie gazed up at her bigger sister clone.

“I’m a modeling head.” the bigger Sofie shook her black hair. “I was made like this, too.”

“And people loved you?”

“Sure, I had a kid who loved to style my hair and give me makeup.” said the Sofie styling head. “I never had a body, but I still brought joy.”

Sofie wondered if she could still bring someone joy. Not as a lava lamp decoration, or a test dummy. She wanted to bring joy as a doll, just like any other Sofie doll in the world, to make a child happy.

She stayed with the mannequin heads for a while, finally feeling like she belonged, but eventually rolled back to the dolls. Someone was more likely to find her there.

Once again, Sofie sat and watched other dolls being bought. Dressed dolls, naked dolls, even the scribbled-on doll was chosen. By now, Sofie had mastered rolling around. She didn’t need to try to ride a car or horse, though those would be faster.

One day, a big plastic dinosaur grabbed her in its teeth and prowled around. Before she could escape from the dinosaur’s jaws, a mom and little boy wandered in. The little boy grinned and headed straight for the dinosaur… only to pull Sofie’s head out of the toothed mouth, smiling.

“Oh, Ryan, don’t you want this?” the mom held up the dinosaur, but Ryan cupped Sofie’s head in his hands and gazed down at her with a soft, loving smile, stroking her badly cut hair.

“I want her!” Ryan proclaimed, holding Sofie’s head up like she was the most valuable toy in the world.

“Five bucks for a head?” Ryan’s mom looked at the multitude of other dolls, including many other Sofie dolls, and picked up an intact Sofie dressed in a snowsuit. “These ones aren’t even that many. Look, do you want one of these?”

Ryan shook his head firmly, holding Sofie tightly. Ryan’s mom sighed and paid for Sofie. The owner rustled a plastic bag, and Sofie tensed, mind automatically going to the parachutes.

“I’ll hold her.” Ryan announced to Sofie’s utmost relief. Ryan bounced Sofie from countertops to door handles on the way home, holding her up to look out the car window. Sofie wanted to beam wider than her plastic face already was.

Ryan loved her, not as a test dummy, but as a toy. As a head, Ryan made Sofie command armies fighting against toy robots or dinosaurs. He made her bodies from pencils or plastic spoons or popsicle sticks, with pipe cleaners or string for arms and legs. But just as often as he made her walk in her new prosthetic bodies, he would make her head roll across the floor in the same way she’d learned to do, herself.

As a head, Sofie was small enough to fit in his pocket in a way she wouldn’t have been with her body. She often accompanied him to school, hidden safely in his pocket.

Sofie became Ryan’s favorite toy, just like the limping, stitched up, blind bear was Darla’s. He whispered that other boys teased him for liking dolls. Sofie wished she could yell at the other boys. They would have been shocked to see a doll head yell, surely they’d leave Ryan alone. She couldn’t, but Ryan held her head close to his cheek after a bad day of teasing, and Sofie knew she made him feel better. She brought him joy, and he brought her joy in return.

One night, as she lay with no prosthetics on Ryan’s pillow next to the sleeping boy, Sofie rolled over and gazed at her new owner, feeling like she was the luckiest doll in the world.

The End

(Word count: 2510).

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I knew I wanted to write a story for this project, since I have been writing stories for years. I have already been working on stories with characters with various disabilities for over a year now, but I wanted to do something different for this project. I have always loved stories with living toys, such as the Toy Story films and Han Christian Anderson’s classic tale The Steadfast Tin Soldier, which is mentioned in this story and features a main character who is missing a leg. I wanted to make a story with a living, disabled toy. At first I thought of Sid’s mutant toys, which are quite like Frankenstein’s creation and initially viewed with horror, but then I thought of doll heads. In one of my trips to a thrift store, I saw they were selling doll heads, as well as dolls with bodies.

I couldn’t help but wonder, what would it be like to be only a head? I’m fairly certain no human has ever had that disability, since they could not survive, which made exploring the life of a toy head even more intriguing. In looking at the heads in the store, I wondered what happened to their bodies. If they were real, would the other toys shun them, or regard them with a horror, not wanting to meet the same fate? How would they move around? Would they learn to accept being a head? Would they worry nobody would want to buy a doll head, and would only buy whole dolls?

I guess I imagine Sofie as an alternate Barbie doll in that she’s mass-produced and identical to so many other dolls

I decided to have Sofie lose her body because I was curious how the dolls in the store became heads, since they must have had bodies at one point. The pencil prosthetic leg was inspired by a toy horse I bought a few years ago that looked like part of its leg was chewed or snapped off, and I gave it a pencil prosthetic leg of its own.

Her revulsion of the thought of getting another body like a “Frankenstein creation” is entirely her own, and not reflective of my own ideas.

However, some things start out as only heads, such as certain mannequins or those big styling doll heads. I figured those would be more accepting of not having a body since they were “born” that way, rather than a doll who lost her body would be at first. But just like those heads, Sofie can learn her life is still valuable even without a body, and she can still bring a child joy.

Darla’s teddy bear is disabled himself and incredibly loved by Darla. His disabilities came slowly through age, such as losing eyes and getting ripped, but he is still loved and respected by the other toys. I wasn’t thinking this while I wrote it, but I guess he is a little like the old man the creation watched in Frankenstein crossed with the creation himself, but not treated nearly as badly.

The thrift store Sofie visits in this story is a lot like the one I visited in real life, I was not really trying to have any sort of symbolism with the prices. The price of $5 for a disembodied doll head was the real price at the thrift store I visited, while other intact dolls were priced much lower. I also saw a ton of naked dolls, probably more naked dolls than dressed dolls, which is why there were naked dolls in the story.

Ryan was inspired by a boy I read about in an article who carried a dismembered doll head around for years, as well as Bobby in the short film Barbie Boy. I suppose both Darla and Ryan subvert stereotypical gender roles, with Darla playing rough with her toys and Ryan playing with dolls.

(Word count: 643).

I hereby declare upon my word of honor that I have neither given nor received unauthorized help on this work. Clark Baranoski

Jasmine Williams A Sip of Thought for the Soul

Jasmine Williams A Sip of thought for the Soul Download

Mental Health & The Yellow Wallpaper

Write-Up Word Count: 643

“The Yellow Wallpaper” has been one of my favorite short stories through the years, but for some reason, I never really thought to look at it through the lens of disability and/or mental illness, even though it was literally and unapologetically about mental illness—a very real brush with a severe, potentially crippling mental breakdown. I first read Gilman’s story in high school, but we never touched on the disability aspect of the story. It was either Gothic Horror or American Fiction, and nothing a little more profound or potentially relating back to things that happen in real life.

In that regard, especially given the growing vocality of the disabled and mentally ill, and the constant criticism of coding film and fiction villains as mentally ill, I find that not talking about the disability aspects behind “The Yellow Wallpaper” to be a great disservice to our high school students. They still have the flexibility to unlearn toxic behavior and thought processes with teachers and administration as mediators, without them having to come face to face with it on their own without support. If we embrace that support structure, we might even help kids ask for help if they think something might be wrong. I know that if we’d taken the disability studies route when I was in high school and first read “The Yellow Wallpaper,” I might have asked for help sooner than I did. Not that I ever had hallucinations or anything, but maybe, just maybe, I would have recognized the dangers of hyperfocus and being fatigued all the time, and how staring off into middle distance all the time probably wasn’t a good thing.

So that was the motivation for this project. I’m currently in the Master’s of Education program here at UMW, and I wanted to do a project that more aligns wit my future goals and career than just writing my ten millionth academic paper. Since I’m going to be a teacher, I do need to practice writing lesson plans, since that’s going to be what I’m doing for the rest of my professional life.

Coming up with something that didn’t rely on the heavy theory readings we did in class was a challenge. Most of the theory reading we did likely isn’t accessible to 11^th graders without very careful modeling and guiding, and there isn’t a lot of time for that when you have a state-mandated curriculum to follow. They’re just that dense. I did manage to find several resources for teaching at grade level and some to use for differentiation purposes, since not all students learn the same. The experience I have as an active substitute and my twenty practicum hours this semester were an advantage I utilized to the fullest. If given the chance, I think I’m even ready to teach this lesson, even though it’s designed to take at least two 80-minute class periods. Parts of the lesson plan were purposefully left vague, as they depend entirely on student response.

Making the lesson accessible was my biggest challenge, because a lot of the theory is so dense, and I chose an SOL Standard focused on 11^th grade, and most classes won’t talk about anything other than what’s already tried and true. Even today, which the voices of the disability community growing louder, I’ve noticed in my years as a substitute teacher that schools don’t really talk to their kids about disability and mental illness. It’s still taboo, which is a shame, since it’s just as important as looking at racism and sexism in texts, both of which schools do talk about (if, still very inadequately). Disability gets nothing. With that in mind, I wanted to work on this project so that I could have something to show that it is possible to make disability studies accessible even to high schoolers. I just hope I succeeded.